


Always

by FandomFeels17



Category: Ant & Dec RPF
Genre: Ant and Dec - Freeform, Friendship, M/M, NTA'S 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:35:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26639680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomFeels17/pseuds/FandomFeels17
Summary: It's the NTA'S 2019...Based on a little tweet I found online.
Relationships: Dec Donnelly & Ant McPartlin, Dec Donnelly/Ant McPartlin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> I have posted this to my Wattpad account too! So, don't freak when you see on it on there as well, I am the author, I can assure you! x

It had been an emotional few days.

Getting back to work had been a nerve-wrecking day, but the thunderous applause when he had walked out onstage, after Dec had introduced him back into the fold, had made the nerves instantly disappear. 

He had been terrified. The night before his return to work, he had barely slept. He was terrified and he was scared. He wouldn't cope if they booed him or Dec, he would be gutted if that happened, but he knew it would be his fault and he wouldn't blame them, to be fair. Even he had doubted it at the very beginning, if he had a job to come back to, despite Dec's insistence that he would be allowed back. 

Now, as the car pulled up at his best friends house, a little earlier than planned three days later, he climbed from the car and headed up the garden path, knocking on the door before letting himself in. ''Declan? Ali?'' he called, resting his arm on the banister.

A shriek had his head snapping to the living room, his face lighting up, as he gasped. ''And there's the person I really wanted to see.'' he cooed at his niece / goddaughter. He smiled as Isla held her arms up as her Uncle appeared in her eyesight. ''You promise you won't do a pee or anything, right?'' he asked, knowing he wouldn't get anything but a toothless smile. His fingers danced along her onesie covered tummy, making her giggle loudly.

Ali smiled, watching their interaction from the doorway as she nursed a cup of coffee in her hands. ''You can have a cuddle. You're safe from having to do a nappy change.'' she teased, smiling innocently when Ant raised an eyebrow. 

He looked down at Isla again. ''Cuddle time? Gonna give your Uncle Ant a little cuddle before he has to go to work with Daddy Dec?'' he asked, as he gently and slowly picked her up, cradling her protectively in his arms, pressing a gentle but loving kiss to her head, before dropping a kiss to Ali's cheek. ''You okay, darling?'' he asked, as he gently swayed Isla from side to side.

Ali nodded, stifling a yawn. ''Aye. I'm good. Got my mum coming round to look after Isla, so I'm going to get some jobs done. We might come down and visit you guys later on, just a heads up. That'll be alright, won't it? You're not going anywhere after filming, are you?''

''No, I don't think so. Just let us know if you're coming and we'll come down and get you.''

Ali smiled, before her eyes dropped to her daughter. Ant followed her gaze, finding a sleeping Isla fast asleep. His heart swelled and he pressed a firm, loving kiss to her head. The sound of a camera clicking had Ant's attention diverted. His eyes widened. 

''Shit, you looked like you haven't-''

'ANT!''

Ant jumped, his grip protective on Isla as he looked around for the threat. Finding none, he turned to Ali. ''What?''

''Language. I'm not having her first word be a swear word!''

Ant's heart rate calmed down, when he realised why she had shouted. ''Oops. Sorry.'' he apologised, stifling a laugh, before turning serious, as he faced his best friend. ''Seriously though, you look like you haven't slept, are you alright?'' he hasn't asked.

Dec nodded, though he knew Ant could tell he was lying. ''I'm fine. I'm just going to grab a coffee flask and then we'll go.'' he said, before disappearing into the kitchen. 

Ant narrowed his eyes, before following him, leaning against the kitchen island. ''Dec? Talk to me, please.'' he said, his thumb stroking Isla's back.

'Don't you know what today is?''

Ant sighed. Of course he knew what today was. ''The NTA's.'' he said. ''I thought we weren't-''

''Of course I'm going to be shitting it!''

''DECLAN!''

Dec winced at his wife's shout. ''Sorry!'' he called, before catching sight of Ant smirking and trying not to laugh. ''Shut up. We've got to go.'' he said, screwing the lid onto his re-useable cup and marching up Ant, holding the re-usable cup out to him.

Ant shook his head. 'Nuh uh. She's fast asleep. You've had cuddles this morning.'' 

Dec rolled his eyes, fondly, before stroking his daughters head and placing a kiss on her head, backing off when she squirmed slightly. ''Okay. You want your sleep, I see how it is. Sleep over Daddy's kisses.'' Dec kissed her once more before heading into the living room to kiss Ali goodbye and headed into the hallway to grab his coat. ''Put my daughter down, Mcpartlin. We've got a job to do.''

Ant pouted as he headed back into the living room, gently placing Isla back in her crib, tucking her in and placing another kiss on her forehead. ''Be good for your Mam'' he whispered, before he gently stroked a finger down her little cheek.

''ANT!'' Dec's faint shout echoed into the house. Ant backed off as Isla squirmed. He loved her, but he hated seeing her cry. Thankfully, she settled down and he waved to Ali, who blew him a kiss for getting Isla to sleep.

Shutting the door behind him, he jogged down the steps and into the car, sliding the car door behind him and buckling himself in, before turning to his best friend, who was biting his thumbnail. Reaching over, he grabbing Dec's hand away from his mouth. ''Talk to me, Dec.'' he said, softly.

Dec chewed the inside of his cheek. He was silent for a few minutes, before he sighed. ''I just... It's stupid.''

''It's not.'' Ant immediately said, his hand tightening on Dec's. ''Dec... Look at me, please.'' Dec glanced over at him. ''Talk to me.'' he repeated, firmly.

''The press-''

''Dec. seriously?''

''Oi! You wanted me to talk, don't interrupt!'' Dec snapped, before his eyes widened. _Shit_. ''I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap...'' He sighed again, before worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. ''If we loose this year, the press are going to love it.''

Ant waited for Dec to elaborate. He didn't. ''Is there more coming or...'' he trailed off, his eyes not leaving his best friends side profile, before sighing himself. ''Dec, if we loose... that's down to me. I fucked up. I'm the one who made us loose, if we have lost. But please do not think that us loosing-''

''I'm not worried about loosing. You know after the year we've been through, the award is the last thing on my mind.'' Ant raised an eyebrow again, but Dec barrelled on. ''I'm scared that it's going to cause a... something.''

Ant sat still. He knew exactly what Dec was getting at. ''You think it's going to push me over the edge? Dec, if we loose tonight, I don't care! You know why? Because you already won, in my eyes. You took on the rest of Takeaway, Britain's Got Talent and I'm a Celeb without me and you smashed it. You don't need an award for me or our fans to see how fucking great you are.'' Ant could feel the familiar burning of tears in his eyes. ''It won't do anything to me, I promise you. Okay... I'll be disappointed a bit because then I wouldn't be able to show the nation how fucking proud you've made me this past year.''

Dec let out a kind of choked off cough, trying obviously not to get upset. ''You promise me?'' He whispered, terrified of saying it louder.

''Dec...' Ant warned, gently but firmly. ''I promise you, it's going to be fine, whatever that outcome is.''

Dec nodded. ''I'm sorry if you took offence... to the comment about me worrying it'll push over the edge.'' he clarified. ''I think everything is just magnetized at the moment. I can feel a pressure on me shoulders... And I hate it.''

Ant looked guiltily at the floor before grabbing his hand again. ''I'm sorry.'' he whispered. ''If our run ends tonight, I'm sorry.'' He knows it's his fault if that happens and he knows the press are willing them to loose as well. 

Dec unclipped his seatbelt and shuffled closer, clipping the middle seatbelt round himself and resting his head on Ant's shoulder. They spent the rest of the car in silence, their hands tightly clasped between them. Upon reaching the arena, they glanced at each other.

''You ready?''

Dec swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. ''Let's go.'' he said, climbing out of the car and following Ant inside the theatre, trying to push away the ball of nerves that where settling heavily in his stomach.

* * *

''And the nominations for Best Entertainment Presenters are...''

Dec was going to throw up.

He was going to puke and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He and Ant were stood on stage at the London Palladium waiting to find out their fate. He could feel tension in the air around them and it was making him want to snap. He knew deep down how much he wanted the award this year, to prove to Ant they were still loved, and he knew Ant would beat himself up over loosing, would no doubt blame himself. 

He could feel his palms getting sweaty and his whole body tensing as they got closer and closer to announcing the winner. He leaned heavily on Ant, tucking his face into his neck, allowing everyone in the auditorium a peek into their friendship.

''And The National Television Award goes to...''

He felt Ant grip his shoulder tightly. He knew how much Ant wanted him to win. The urge to throw up was starting to become overwhelming. 

''ANT AND DEC!''

The whole auditorium erupted into thunderous applause. Dec gripped his knees with his hands, feeling Ant fall against him, his arms folded over his shoulders. 

They had done it. They had actually fucking done it.

Dec tuned out for the first minute after a quick hug, too overwhelmed to look at the camera. He settled on his best friend, who was taking charge, knowing Dec wouldn't be able to speak for a few seconds.

''... But I really don't feel like I can accept this award this year. The one reason we won this award this year, is because this guy.'' Ant gripped his shoulder, his eyes making sure he was okay. ''His hard work, dedication, wit, funniness... And being the **BEST** mate there is out there. I love you, man. Well done.''

Dec blinked back the tears as Ant pulled him in for a hug. ''I love you too.'' Dec whispered, closing his eyes to get himself under control, knowing he needed to speak soon.

Clearing his throat, he gently pulled back from hug, and turned to the camera, his voice shaky but strong. ''Erm... Thankyou so much. Thankyou to everybody who sent kind and thoughtful messages to us, throughout the past year. They kept me going while I've been flying the flag for the two of us...'' He could feel himself becoming emotional. Reaching his arm out, he pulled Ant close to him, needing him there so he didn't loose it on live television. ''But I've got him back now...'' A smile spread across his face. ''Now, we're back together...''

It was Ant's turn to tune out now. He couldn't believe it. He was half expecting someone to turn around and say it was wrong, that they hadn't won it.

But they had. Dec had. 

He tuned back in just in time to hear Dec make a joke about Dermott's little threat earlier. Thanking everyone once against before the livestream disappeared, they waved as the signal cut and the thunderous applause began once again. 

He felt Dec drop to the floor, dramatically splaying his arms out. Laughing, Ant bent down and rested his head against the cool, cold flooring next to him, before seeing movement out of the corner of his eye as the other judges headed up onstage to congratulate them. 

After a few quick photos in-front of hundreds of chanting fans, they waved and thanked them all again before heading backstage to their little area.

'Oh my god. Did that really just happen? Someone pinch me because I feel like I'm in a dream right now.'' Ant said, to the little bit of crew that had come on stage with them. Sighing happily, he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, not to mention the overwhelming happiness he felt for his best friend. ''I told ya, Dec. I told you, you had nothing-''

Ant spun around, intending to do a happy dance with his best friend. 

However, having Dec fall face first into his chest, with his tears soaking through his shirt was the reality he got. Quickly ushering the crew away, he wrapped his arms round Dec tightly, as he sobbed heavily. 

He knew how much pressure Dec had been under last year, especially the day _it_ happened and the weeks that followed it. When he presented the first Takeaway alone, when he ended up doing the BGT live shows alone and the jungle with Holly, all culminating in Dec revealing that he had had to seek professional help of his own. All this tonight, he knew it was a relief for Dec, that all of that hard work hadn't been for nothing, that despite his best friend's mistake, the public didn't hate him, even after Dec had said he would continue to work with Ant, no matter what happened in the future.

''Hey... Come on. Let's go to our dressing room, okay?'' Ant whispered, knowing they had few minutes before auditions would resume. Guiding his best friend through the doors and down the hall, he unlocked their dressing room door. Slipping inside, he locked it again with the flick of his wrist before guiding Dec to the sofa and sitting down.

The room was filled with little sniffles and the occasional sob for a few minutes before Dec was able to pull himself together, after one last loud sniffle. Pulling his head away from Ant's neck, Dec grabbed the tissue box and sorted himself out, while Ant got him a bottle of water from the little fridge in the room.

Turning back round, Ant saw Dec going red and he knew why. ''Oi! No, you're not feeling embarrassed about crying. Do you understand?'' Ant told him, sitting back down and handing him the bottle of water. 

Dec took a sip before speaking. ''I don't even know where that came from, though.'' he said, his voice rough.

''It came from that weight on your shoulders you mentioned earlier.'' Ant pulled him closer again, not caring one bit about his ruined shirt. ''You were more worked up abut this, weren't you? Than you let on.'' Ant asked, softly. ''Talk to me.''

Dec sniffled again. ''If we had lost, it would've felt like everything I did last year was all for nothing. I thought that if we lost, I would've let you down, Isla and Ali down, our families down, everyone... I would've felt like a failure.'' Dec squeezed his eyes shut before opening them again. ''And I hate how that makes me sound because I meant what I said earlier. I didn't give a damn about the award because I have you back. And that is so much better than that.''

''Dec, you felt that way because you're passionate. You're passionate about our job. You care about everything and you give it a hundred and ten percent every single time.'' Ant could feel his own tears slipping now. ''I meant what I said out there. That award... It's yours. You did all the work last year and it truly deserves to be yours.''

It wasn't a lie when they said their relationship had been strained to point of near destruction after what had happened and there had been tears and hugs and arguments in order to get their relationship back on track and back stronger than ever before.

''I mean what I said about you too, you know? I wouldn't be here without you. And I don't mean the work aspect of it.'' Ant whispered, his tears hitting the back of Dec's neck, as they hugged again. ''You are my best friend. And I really do love you, so much.'' Ant sniffled, knowing he had set Dec off again. ''I won't ever hurt you like that again, I promise.''

Dec drew back and wiped his eyes. ''Don't do that.'' he whispered. ''It doesn't work like that and you know it. It doesn't... It's not like a car than you can trade in for a brand new one. You know recovery is going to be with you every single day. You don't just go into a repair shop and come out brand spanking new.'' Dec took a few shaky breaths in before continuing. ''But... If anything ever does happen, if you ever relapse or you have thoughts about it happening, I want you call me and tell me you need me or Anne-Marie or your Mam or Sarah and Emma. And it'll be okay. I'll make it okay.''

''I know you will. I know...''

''I might not make it a hundred percent okay, but even just one percent will be enough for me.''

Ant wiped his eyes and nodded, before hugging him once again.

He didn't deserve Dec. He had been handed a lifeline when Dec came into his life and he had nearly lost it, but he still came back, despite everything. Coming out of his thoughts, he patted Dec on the back before pulling away from the hug. The tension in the air was heavy and emotional one and if Ant was honest, he just wanted to go home to bed.

The sound Dec's phone vibrating had him glancing over at his best friend, who swiped for a video call from Ali.

''Say yaaaay!! Well done, Daddy and Uncle Ant!!'' Ali's voice came floating through the speakers as Isla was facing the screen, her smiley face the first thing Ant and Dec saw. ''Yaaaaaay!!'' they all laughed as Isla let out a laugh and kicked her legs and swung her arms toward them. Ali chuckled and turned the camera on herself. ''Congratu- Jesus, are you two okay?!'' She fretted, seeing their tear stained and slightly swollen faces.

''We're fine. Just been really emotional here tonight.'' Ant said, Dec nodded next to him.

''Well, as long as you're both okay.'' At their confirmation, she carried on. ''I'll let you both go and freshen up and I'd better get this little lady to sleep.''

Ant and Dec chuckled before saying their goodbyes and signing off. They glanced at each other and sighed. ''Do you feel-''

''Really weird? Like it's going take a few days to settle in?'' Dec finished.

Ant nodded. ''It feels like we're in limbo.''

Dec cracked a smile before getting to his feet and holding out a hand. ''Come on, let go and sort these faces out. Work still beckons.''

Ant grabbed his outstretched hand and allowed his best friend to lead them to the toilets. Freshening up with cold water, they slowly slipped back into their professional personas. It was still obvious they cried, but until makeup got a-hold of them, it would have to do.

Reaching the doors that lead back to the auditions stage, Ant stopped and turned to Dec. ''Thankyou.'' he whispered, sincerely and with a smile that was only reserved for Dec.

Dec slowly smiled back and nodded. 

''Always.''


End file.
